A New Year Reminder
You guys we made it to 2018! Oh my gosh, congratulations to all of us (because it was, and still is a little touch and go to see if we would actually get here). This year was full of crushing disappointments, life-altering events, with highs and lows that we didn't see coming. In the words of Kylie Jenner...it was the year of realizing things...and as cringy as that may sound, she was kinda right. So while we are all going into 2018 boasting the phrases of "new year, new me" and "don't even think about trying blah blah blah on me in 2018," I just want to say I get it. We went through some ish this year, but although we need to look forward to the new lessons, we can't forget what we learned in 2017. So while you're toasting in the New Year in style, keep this in mind.
1. Resolutions are trash & just do it
Yeah I stand by my resolution hatred because, they don't stick! YOU KNOW THIS! We were all the victim on creating all these great sounding, yet far-fetched resolutions, to do this or be that or try this. 2017 made made me and many others realize that if you really want to be better or do better, don't just say it, ACT IT OUT. You want to lose weight? Okay then sign up for that kick-boxing class you've been interested for the past month. You want to get your grades up? Then go see a tutor in the subjects that you're struggling in. Don't just say what you want, act on it!
2. Mental health is important
Though this is something that I didn't realize till later in the year, I still think it's so incredibly important. It's 1000 times harder to get your body and your priorities right, if your mind is just consistently eating you down. being on track with your mental health may mean different things though. Maybe it means unpluggin from social media for an indefinite amount of time, cutting ties with unhealthy relationships, or even going to see a therapist and having a non-biased input to you thoughts. Let your mentality be a priority. Be selfish and put yourself first, because the mind is a precious thing, and just like the body we have to give it what it needs to be healthy and functioning.
I feel like this is almost self-explanatory, but I'm gonna go into it anyway. The social and political climate that we live in is too dynamic (meaning it has too much of an effect on YOUR future) not to be a priority. You NEED to stay up-to-date and present with political and social news, not just in the U.S. but worldwide. DO NOT think that laws being made and communities being affected have no bearing on your life, because it does. So I don't care how old or young you are, get in touch with reputable news sources and keep learning.
4. old problems still exist
I remember sitting in my consumer behavior class this past semester as my professor (who is honestly the worst. Like I learned nothing about consumer behavior, he just talked about random BS stuff) talked about the sexual assault cases in Hollywood and media, and he said the dumbest thing. He said that this is the end of that happening...When I asked what that meant he claimed that sexual assault cases will be no more, because companies just aren't tolerating it. First of all, I was already pissed that he was talking about this in class becasue he didn't preface the conversation for anyone who may have been a victim of sexual assault. Secondly, I was pissed becasue how dare he think that this will end it? That's like saying the Civil Rights movement or President Obama's Presidential terms "ended" racism...it didn't.
What I'm trying to say is, is that new problems are just old problems dressed in a different packaging.
5. being healthy is really hard
Y'all it's really effing hard, but you gotta do it. As a girl in college, my eating habits can be literal trash, BUT you have to make an effort to keep your body healthy.
6. sometimes you're not ready
Be it a relationship, buying a new car, moving to a new city...sometimes you're actually not ready. And this doesn't have anything to do with the fact that you are doing something wrong, or you have not prepared as best as you can. Sometimes it's just not the right time, and you have to be okay with that.
7. you are not other people and they are not you
As one of my favorite creator's Liza Koshy, "Just do you, because everyone else sucks at it."
8. failure is an option
Okay this one, this one is a thing that took me so long to come to terms with. Personally I hate quitting, or giving up on things, but there comes a time where you have literally done all that you can do, and you can't do anything else. It's honestly the hardest thing to realize because you don't think that failure is an option, especially if you are not used to it.
But just know that failure is a part of learning and growing and preparing you for the successes that will inevitably come in the future. It is a stepping stone forward, not a step backwards.
9. risk takers win in the end
If you don’t take risks, then you are not truly living your best life. And let me set it straight, risks don’t have to be some huge, life-altering, jump-off-a-cliff, madness. They can be small risks. For example, maybe you aren’t really one for social situations, but you realize that you have to begin networking in order to move forward in a job. A small risk that you can take is maybe starting a conversation with someone within your office, that you may usually not speak to. Personally, I classify a risk as anything that is outside of your normal comfort zone, so whether that be big or small, don’t be afraid to take it.
10. change is inevitable
If you resist change, you will only hate it more, embrace the inevitable change, in fact encourage it, because change means that you are moving forward.
11. you cannot expect the unexpected
When people say to “expect the unexpected” I now kinda look at them like they’re crazy, because if this year has taught me anything, it’s that the unexpected is unexpected for a reason. Like you will never truly be prepared for anything, and that’s okay. What matters more is how you deal with the aftermath.
12. it's okay to say it sucks
Sometimes it just sucks. And yeah you want to be positive and uplifting and not settle into negativity, but also you don’t want to be fake, or totally ignore the current situation. If it sucks, then it’s okay to be like “wow this sucks.” My therapist, who is legit the best, told me that sometimes you don’t always want to hear the solutions to a problem, or have someone try and uplift you with positive words. Sometimes the most uplifting thing someone can do for you is to agree that it sucks, and tell you that it’s okay to say that. When you validate it and see it for what it is, then you’re better able to assess it and get past the suckiness.
13. find the little things
I’m such a proponent for finding the small joys in life. We live in such a crazy time and it can be overwhelming and disheartening when you witness the struggles that the world is going through right now. But I urge you to keep finding the small victories in your life, because those can pile up into something much more.
14. Feminism is complicated
From “free-ing the nipple” and being “body positive” to the #metoo movement and realizing that white women were the reason why Trump, a man who openly talked about sexually assaulting a woman and degrades them on a daily basis, was elected. I have come to a conclusion that feminism is complicated. This has always been true and it will never be not true (that was a weird way of phrasing that lol). I mean the term has been changing and evolving since the 1920s and even before that.
I don’t know if there’s a right way or wrong way to be a feminist, and this is coming from someone who is one…Like I think Beyoncé is a huge proponent of feminism in her own right, but some people will strongly disagree with me (which I say to you, you are wrong because I first of all think that women of color are defining feminism in a new and amazing way) and second of all, because she is bringing a new voice to it that isn’t your typical white girl rant on it. But like I said…it’s complicated. There is no right way to feminism and I doubt there ever will be.
15. being a woman is complicated
We consistently are under the scrutiny of what to do with our bodies. Do we love ourselves and own it, or do we try to mold ourselves into the image of media? Should we make the first move in dating or wait for the guy? How should we dress? How should we act? Am I woman enough? These are just some of the minor things that complicated what being a woman in today’s society is. But just realize that though being a woman is complicated at times, it’s also amazing, because I think that we are some of the most amazing people with incredible creativity, and the ability to really make moves in the world if we want to.
Right now, we are in a moment where we are realizing and speaking out against the wrongs that have been committed against us. Not saying that this will make things change over night, but it’s a start if I have ever seen one.
16. being human is complicated
I mean enough said honestly. Like have you lived in the world that we are in?
17. don't give up
It is so tempting to just throw in the towel sometimes, but you gotta push through. Sometimes it takes some real perseverance to live and created the amazing life that each and every one of us deserves, but don’t give up. Sometimes it takes a year and sometimes it takes 10, but don’t let a time frame, or a fear, or someone else keep you from your blessing.
18. just take the step
I’ve been using this idea lately. You’re on a path, but the only thing that is lit, is where you are standing right now. You can’t see what’s ahead of you or behind you and you can’t go right or left. You could go forward, but your not sure what will be there. A step? A puddle? A smoothly paved road?
Or, you could take a step backwards, after all you came from that direction, and you think you have a vague idea of what is still back there. But also do you want to step backwards? And how do you know that the things that happened there, are still there?
So what do you do? Both situations come with some fear, but different types. One is stepping into the unknown, not knowing what will come or what pain you may face. The other, is knowing where you came from, and thinking whether you should go back.
I urge you to take the step forward, because even though it is filled with terrifying uncertainty, it is also filled with amazing opportunity and growth. So as I say this, please step forward into 2018, because we can’t go backwards now. Be open to the new challenges and triumphs.
Happy New Year my loves, and don’t be afraid to take that step.