Shhh! It's A Secret
So you know that phrase “ Secrets don’t make friends, but friends make secrets”? Well I would like to amend that statement just a tad. Here is the Classique version, “Secrets don’t make friends, but they protect you from unwanted opinions”. You guys, I hate to tell you this…but there are going to be very few people that you can really tell things to. I know! Mind blown! “But Ari, what about friends? Surely we can tell our friends everything”. Um no, no you can’t. At least not all your friends. Don’t get me wrong you will defs have those homies that you will spill your guts out to, and they will be supportive and loving and amazing. But not everyone is like that.
Sometimes you need to keep some things to yourself. This will not only guard your heart, but it will just keep you sane. I know this is hard when people want to be all up in your life, but trust me you will thank me in the long run.
Little By Little
So, I’m not saying that you can’t ever tell people what you are doing. That’s just crazy. And I’m also not telling you to lie to people, because that’s just plain deceptive. I’m just saying that you do not need to reveal all the amazing, awesome things you do in one go. Let it out little by little. Why do this? Well people can be intimidated easily, and if you just go out saying “oh yeah I model in my free time and also do some freelance photography” they will instantly just be like “whoa…too cool for me” (I know this because I am the one that’s like whoa…too cool for me) MOST of the time. (There are some cases that this doesn’t happen). But also on top of that, you are letting people into your life really really fast if you give them everything. You’re opening up a door for them to have an opinion on your life before you may even know them.
So just let things reveal themselves naturally. If you just got into a relationship, there is no need to shout it from the rooftops for everyone to hear. People will know you are one when you are invited to an event and you ask to bring your boyfriend, or when you refer to your SO casually in convo.
One person who I really look up to, and who does a really good job of revealing their personal life little by little is Blogilates (a.k.a Cassey Ho). She recently just got engaged to her longtime BF, and a lot of her followers didn’t even know that she was in a relationship! WHAT!? She revealed her relationship in her time, and when this important event occurred. Why? Because she knew that if she were to live her relationship out in a public way, then it would be open to judgment and opinions that she just didn’t want to deal with. So learn from Cassey and keep it hush hush. Also Cassey if you’re reading this (she probs isn’t) you’re awesome and the ultimate secret keeper.
Opinions are annoying…
You know what’s a good way for people to give you less opinions about your life (Because honestly people will always give you their opinion…it’s inevitable)? Don’t tell them everything. It will for sure save you some headaches in the future. Trust me. It can be annoying for people to tell you what they think you should do, or just random BS information, when they have no idea about who you really are, what you really do, and why you’re doing it.
For example, I recently made the mistake of telling something about my future grad school plans, and she proceeded to just rip my choice to shreds. Like I was upset. Not because of hat she was saying, (I could care less) but because I opened myself up to those opinions when I know I should’ve kept my plans to myself. I should have kept it a secret.
A Little Mystery Keeps It Interesting
Absolutely nothing is wrong with keeping a little mystery about you. Do you know how many times I’ve talked to someone, that told me every single detail about themselves? A lot. And honestly I don’t like it, because now I don’t have the chance to discover something new about you. You didn’t let me learn about who you are. Keeping parts of you private gives people he option to learn you at their own pace. I’ve been friends with some people for about four years, and they are still learning new things about me.
So in the end…Secrets do make friends… (Whoa, full circle).
So it’s okay to keep secrets, because no one needs to know everything. And in the end, keeping some things private allows you to truly vet people and see what value they can add to your life. I would get into that now, but that’s a topic for next week’s post ☺
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